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the accident

February 16, 2010- As much as it pains me to remember the details of Pecos' accident, I've had so many people asking what exactly happened. And I've been told it helps to write about it so I suppose this could also serve as therapy for me.

On Tuesday the 16th, I picked Pecos up from school and we came home. It was a beautiful afternoon so we did some chores up at the house and decided to go down to the barn to feed the horses. The next day Pecos was supposed to be bringing Widow Maker to school for show and tell and our mission was not only to feed the horses but to brush Widow Maker and get her ready to go to school. So we got on the Kawasaki mule and headed down the hill. Our 3 big horses were eager for some grub and normally I put Pecos in the tack room of the trailer or tell him to stay on the mule until I get them all fed and stalled. But on this particular day I did neither and he was with me as I fed the first 2 and even helped me close and lock their gates. So we headed to feed bucket number three and he was right there next to me until I either started walking faster or he stopped for something- who knows. As soon as I realized he wasn't next to me I turned to find him and at that split second I heard an awful sound of the horse's hoof hitting his head and saw him get knocked a few feet sideways from it. It is a sight, sound and feeling that will haunt me the rest of my life. But thankfully (and to my surprise) there was no cut that was bleeding and he was not knocked out and didn't have a seizure or anything like that. His guardian angel was doing a good job that day.The impact was just above his left ear and behind his temple and began to swell quickly as you can imagine.

Pecos of course started crying, and forgetting any snippet of first aid knowledge that I've ever had, I scooped him up instead of thinking about any potential damage by moving him. Luckily I had my cell phone in my back pocket and immediately dialed the Harper volunteer fire dept so they could send the ambulance ASAP. I suppose I could have driven him to the hospital myself but at that point I was only thinking about holding him and not having to buckle him in his carseat or lay him in the back seat on the 30 mile trip to town. As I was waiting for the dispatcher to confirm our address and everything I layed Pecos on my lap in the mule and drove up to the house to get an ice pack for his head and grab my purse. Poor Pecos was still crying and confused and telling me he was sorry he got kicked.

We got the ice pack and my purse and I drove in my Expedition with Pecos laying on my lap down to the gate to wait for the ambulance. At that point I considered one last time to just drive him myself or at least meet the ambulance en route or at the fire station in Harper. What was probably only about 10 minutes for them to arrive seemed like an hour. While we were waiting Pecos calmed down a little and was asking me what we were doing so I explained the ambulance was coming with people to help him make his head feel better and take us to the hospital to see the doctor. He said no, he just wanted to go to Dr. Rick's. When the ambulance arrived they put him inside and layed him down and there were 5 or 6 people tending to him. All of this seemed to overwhelm Pecos a bit and he started to show some signs of shock. Of course my only experience with EMT care is what I see on tv and in movies so I expected a much more rapid assessment and immediate departure to the hospital in Fredericksburg or Kerrville. But the EMTs were doing their job and trying to get an accurate assessment before they decided where to go- at this point I asked "can we just get going?" The reply was "we're waiting for the hospital to let us know where they want us to take him- we may have to go to San Antonio". The reply from the Fredericksburg hospital was send him to University Hospital in SA where there is a trauma center that could treat him immediately if necessary. The concern was with his type of head trauma an initial head scan could indicate surgery would be needed to stop any internal bleeding and they could do surgery immediately in SA. Well, the fastest way to SA in clear weather for a 3-year old with head trauma is via helicopter. The helicopter arrived, landed at our gate and loaded up Pecos. They took one look at me being 5 months pregnant and said I would not be flying Air-Evac airlines that day (I was livid, but tried to remain calm for Pecos).

When Pecos heard I couldn't go with him in the helicopter I think he was more concerned about me not going than the pain in his head. My sweet baby asked if I would come get him at the hospital and then asked me to please wipe his tears. As I tried to hold back my own tears I told him to be brave and tough and I would get there as fast as I could. I can't even begin to explain the despair I felt watching them load Pecos into the helicopter and take off without me. It was possibly a worse feeling than seeing him get hurt in the first place. Clearly, it was the hardest thing I've had to endure as a mother. As soon as the helicopter lifted and cleared the road I said a quick prayer to protect Pecos and give me a clear and safe drive there. I have the rosary on CD in the car so I turned that on and left a trail of dust behind me, driving at speeds that should never be attempted under normal circumstances.

All this time Casey was in the depths of West Texas with no cell phone signal. I tried many times to reach him because I knew he would want to get to the hospital as fast as possible and the longer it took to reach him the later he would get there. {At some point I need to notify AT&T their coverage map is indeed wrong.} En route to SA I decided not to call our family until I got to the hospital and had a better idea the extent of the injury and how they would proceed with treatment. I was already in a panic and felt there was no need for anyone else to panic when I didn't have much to say other than he had a head injury and was being flown to SA. [So this is my semi-public apology to our parents for not calling right away.] When I was about 20 miles out of SA the flight nurse on the helicopter called me to say they had arrived safely, Pecos was being seen by the trauma team, they had removed him from the back board and neck brace and he was getting a full head scan. He assured me Pecos was alert, not crying and was informing the medical team he was a tough cowboy. A few minutes after that call ended Casey's phone received signal and he noticed the numerous missed calls from me. Thank God I had good news from the flight nurse to tell him and I was almost to the hospital. Now Casey was in panic mode and making his own speedy trip to SA from 6 hours away.

I only thought the panic couldn't get worse until I walked into that emergency waiting room. I thought I was on a movie set. There was everything from bleeding wounds to spaced out people and even some under police guard. On my way back to see Pecos there were people handcuffed to stretchers and others screaming; I was traumatized by it all but thank goodness Pecos was in a calmer and quieter area.

When I got to Pecos, he was calm, not crying and just waiting for me to get there. He had traveled with his security blanket (a burp cloth he's had since the day he was born), so he was clutching that, looking at a stuffed animal- a bull- they had given him and checking out all the equipment attached to his arms, chest and fingers. The first thing he said was he was so glad I came to get him. I can only imagine in his mind what he was thinking having flown without me, then the exam and head scan without me there and that maybe I was not coming at all. I pray he'll soon have no memory of any of this.

I spoke to one of the trauma doctors (after having to request to see him twice!) and he told me he'd seen the head scan and there was not a major fracture, no major visible internal bleeding and that the radiologist and neurosurgeons would take a look at it to give their assessment. That was miraculous news considering what had happened and the initial thoughts that he might need emergency surgery. The radiologist confirmed there was a minor skull fracture which would only heal with time and the neurologist saw there was minor internal bleeding that had formed a small bruise. Both of these are expected with head trauma but they are usually much more severe than what Pecos had. God was truly protecting him through it all. I finally had somewhat conclusive news to share with Casey and our family, but of course they were worried and got to SA as fast as possible (thankfully their arrival was after we were out of the pit of the ER).

Pecos was kept that night in pediatric ICU for observation. We saw the neurosurgeon at midnight and believe it or not Pecos was still awake and the doctor was able to do a full physical exam testing his strength, reflexes, speech and whatever else they do. The neuro doc was very pleased with the exam and started him on anti-seizure medicine as a precaution and said it was standard for all head trauma patients. The next morning we saw teams of neuro, pediatric and trauma docs and they all agreed Pecos was doing great and they'd move him out of ICU but keep him another night just for observation. They assured us there was not a specific concern to keep him there but just the need for overall observation and another physical neuro exam the following day just to be sure he was okay to leave and be so far away from medical treatment.

Pecos enjoyed himself in the playroom on the pediatric floor and charmed all the staff there. He never once complained that his head was hurting and just told us he was tough. I kept telling him it was okay if his head hurt but he never did say it.

Here he is ready to leave the hospital:He was released after two nights of observation with instructions to call and/or return if we noticed anything major like slurred speech or a seizure, etc. We were told it would take 6-8 weeks for the healing of both the fracture and the internal injury. So that means no rough playing, wrestling, climbing, etc. That has been the hardest part of it all- trying to keep him from just being a boy! His head doesn't hurt and the external scab/scar was hardly noticeable after a week. He just doesn't understand that he has an "owie" inside his head and he has to be careful. We are halfway through March and he asks me regularly if the owie inside his head is gone.

I cannot even begin to express the outpouring of prayers and support we received through it all. We are so blessed to have such amazing friends, family and community that love Pecos (and us) and showed so much concern. I thank God daily for protecting Pecos when I could not and know that He has big plans for him. Pecos has already taught me so much through this ordeal about strength, faith and love. THANK YOU to each and every one that called, sent cards, get well wishes and gifts, and messages to check on Pecos and offer support and prayers. We are truly blessed.

UPDATE: Pecos had his follow up visit last week (3/5) and the doctors said all looks good. After the healing period is over they don't expect any long term health effects from the injury. For those wondering about me and the pregnancy- yes, I had high blood pressure, stress and fatigue during all of this but when we got home from the hospital I saw my OB and she said all was okay, I just needed to rest. I've been back again for a regularly scheduled appointment and all is great, baby is at normal size, heart rate, etc. and scheduled to make his debut at the end of May.

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